I Am Not a Maiden Fair – Friday Fictioneers

Friday Fictioneers. Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

I’ll admit I had a hard time with this one — until I came up with a good idea, that is, and then I had a hard time keeping it to 100 words. I wrote, re-wrote, edited, cut and paste, moved things around to the point that the story I present to you doesn’t even resemble the one I had in my head. Even the feel of it is different — a little sinister, even, whereas my first take on Elle was a more pitiable character. Anyhow, let me know what you think. I’ll be reading the others in the next couple days, I promise.

charred-toys

Copyright Karuna

The smell of smoke lingers in the air, but doesn’t bother Elle. The burnt stuffed animals on her shelf remind her why she’s here.

After the incident, they decorated the room with everything a little girl could dream of: pink walls, a four-poster bed, and bookshelves full of fairy tales.

Now, she dreams of the freedom promised by the men in asbestos-lined hazmat suits. Her freedom in exchange for her compliance.

“Burn!” they demand, and with nothing but the power of her mind, she sets the room ablaze.

Elle was never the princess in the tower; she was the dragon.

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20 responses to “I Am Not a Maiden Fair – Friday Fictioneers

  1. It reminds me of Stephen King too! Your take on it is even more interesting because the doll and the stuffed animals were buried in mud near the foundation of a house that has been covered by blackberry vines for at least 40 years. It is possible that the house burned down in the 50’s. The dolls themselves were not burned and probably were thrown over the hill by the people in a nearby house, but you sure picked up on something!

  2. Ouuuu, that was sinister. 🙂 Loved it. I can see where you changed the story from something to what it is. A good re-write, then. 🙂

      • It had a great line in it about how if a handsome prince came to rescue her, he’d find out soon enough that she was not the maiden fair; she was the dragon. To be honest, I think this story suffered from the 100 word limit. 100 word stories are different creatures, and I think I forced this story into a box that was too small for it.

      • It happens. But, the 100 word forces you to stop, think, and choose your words carefully. A skill that many people (especially politicians) could benefit from. 🙂

  3. Dear Helena

    Thank you for being considerate of the 100 words. Last week one posted over 300. A little self-indulgent IMHO.
    You made good use of every one of them. I was thinking Firestarter. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  4. It is so hard to take a longer story and cut and cut, you did well. I am intrigued to know more about the dragon girl.

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