I’m afraid of got nothing to report. Might as well put this out there — I’m getting divorced, and it’s kind of been a hellish year, so this just makes a fitting end, I suppose.
I thought I was doing okay. Scratch that. Every day since Sunday, I’ve had moments of the day where I think I’m doing okay, and then five minutes later, I’m in denial and bawling my eyes out. And then later, I’ll be okay, relieved that it’s over, even. And then the next, I’ll be sitting here writing this while compiling a playlist of SONGS GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU WEEP…. Now playing: Nobody’s Fault But My Own by Beck, followed up by Lover, You Should’ve Come Over by Jeff Buckley.
For once, I wish that I wasn’t such an emotional masochist.
All the while, I’m TRYING to “keep life-ing” — that is, I have maths homework to do, friends to speak to, writing I’d like to do. To feel normal.
NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY.
The Shining reference for the win.
I’m not going to weep all over the internet (at least I don’t think I’m going to… don’t hold me to that promise).
I will say that Jeff Buckley is tugging at my heartstrings from beyond the grave right now, and so perhaps I’d best wrap this up before I get all melancholy.
I hope you are all well. If you have never felt this pain, I hope you never do. If you have, then know that I am truly sorry. If you are currently going through it, as I know some of you are, then goddammit, where’s the closest pub so we can meet and cry in our beer together?
As a good friend said recently, trying to cheer me up: FUCK.
That is all.