Why I Continue Writing, Even When It Feels No One Cares

I feel like I’ve got the bends.

I’ve spent the last (god is it nearly three weeks now?) decompressing after losing my job of five years.

There. I’ve made it public.

Now you know why I’ve been gone.

I’ve been lost inside my head — been reading, been watching TV. Got a gym membership. And a bike. And a tattoo.

What can I say, it’s cheaper than a convertible and less harmful than an affair.

I’ve been thinking a lot, and wondering if I’m falling back into a place I’ve been before — where I gave up writing, discouraged by the utter disinterest of even the other writers involved in my project. I’m not speaking of Singularity, I’m talking about a project I headed up about six years ago now, whose utter failure caused me to stop writing.

Fast-forward to today, and with four days left to order SINGULARITY through INDIEGOGO and only 8 patrons, it’s hard not to give up. It’s hard not to wonder why I bother.

But you know what? I love this book. I’m proud of it, and I can’t wait to write the next one.

I love Chuck Palahniuk, the films of Christopher Nolan, the Twilight Zone, The Others, 12 Monkeys….

And if you do, you’d love SINGULARITY, too.

Why do I keep writing? Because sometimes, people really connect with it. Here’s what one reader had to say:

“It is the protein in the brain and the gut that drives this book. Not pretty at times, it has the power to draw you in and get you to question reality and it’s perception. Depending on what side you’re standing on, you are either being made or unmade. “Singularity” is the thinking person’s book which constantly forces the reader to face the hope and fantasy of being human.”

Lisa Listwa wrote a review that blew me away. You can read the whole thing HERE, but here is an excerpt:

“I often shy from anything suggestive of horror, the supernatural, even the dark psychological. I don’t read such things alone or in the dark (although I suspect that would greatly enhance the experience for the bold reader). The web of tales Hann-Basquiat and her co-conspirators weave is intricate and enticing. I found myself wanting to read straight through, but unable to do so. It’s that terrifying. It’s that good.

Singularity surpasses a simple label of horror or psycho-thriller. It blends these with a good measure of metafiction and postmodernism. It will leave you questioning everything you believe about what it means to be real. Think you won’t enjoy something of this ilk? Don’t be so sure. Take a sip. You’ll be delightfully surprised to find it deliciously smooth, just like a good quality vodka.”

I was so delighted to read that — I felt that it was worth it just for that one connection. But then my brain goes into what I call NEVER ENOUGH mode, and I start asking myself why, when those that HAVE read it, love it, don’t a thousand others take a chance on it?

Here’s another review by Andra Watkins:

“Such a creative premise. In a world where everything goes by formula, Singularity is a refreshing (and horrifying) departure from formula. These writers worked together to weave a psychotic tale with characters who will haunt your nightmares. If you seek an unpredictable, creepy reading journey, this book is definitely a must read.”

So, then, I’m making an appeal to readers — anyone who loves the unexpected, the strange, the unconventional — treat yourself to something new. Check out the INDIEGOGO campaign — you can get signed copies and other goodies. But more than that, you will nurture my need for the affirmation of strangers. The campaign ends September 1st.

 

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33 responses to “Why I Continue Writing, Even When It Feels No One Cares

  1. I think that we are surrounded by too much noise, and that’s the only reason things get ignored. Your book is amazing and will find its audience. I don’t know if there are easy answers to getting people’s attention, unless you have (which most of us don’t) the money to get all the focus turned on you. Think about it, people will pay attention to the assinine words of Donald Trump to the extent that everything else gets swallowed by his noise. (Sorry, I’m in my own conundrum stage now). I guess what I’m trying to say is I hope you keep writing because your talent will win out in the end. Don’t be discouraged by any of it. I’m sorry about your job. That sucks, but I know you can an will land on your feet.

  2. I’m also finding it hard to read in one sitting. 🙂 Although I may want to. It is really an excellent book, but it makes my head spin. (i don’t know how to explain different. I will do a review once I’m done.

  3. Reblogged this on Serins Sphere and commented:
    Please go give one of my favorite authors some bloggy love y’all. I’m currently reading the book he speaks of in this post, and it is really worth the read. He currently has an Indiegogo campaign for the launch of the book going and could use the support.

  4. I am really sorry about your job! Hang in there! Im looking forward to participating in your campaign (believe it or not, accidentaly today my shit got sorted out… the boring shit, the money shit!) and if theres anything else besides participating I can do, do let me know!

  5. Everyone who has NOT given to your campaign and who does NOT buy and read your books is a fool. In fact, I’m going to give a little more to show how much I enjoy your writing. Just finished Voices and currently reading Jessica.

  6. My latest blog post, Have I Lost My Blogging Friends? had a similar theme.

    We, especially those of us who have been or are at heart performing artists, thrive on positive feedback. We need to perform, we need to write, but we also need to know that what we do makes a difference.

    I don’t know about you, but I honestly actually need a bit of adulation.

    To that end, I want you to know that I absolutely ADORE you and your writing. I love the characters you have created. Thank you.

  7. you have a crazy amount of comments on your one blog post, more than I’ve gotten in over 4 years of blogging. I guess its not enough to make a living, but if you need peoples attention to your writing to validate it (like most artists) i think you’ve got it. but thanks for this post anyway, ghandi says life is mostly suffering. so be it! its the suffering and the talking about it, maybe, that people connect with and need to hear the most, it certainly made me feel better

    • It’s funny but you’re absolutely right. I hate it but you’re absolutely right – people are drawn to train wrecks, and any time that I have vented, that is when people listen.

  8. It sounds so lame, I know, but I actually have all your books in queue (turning on my British there). I will read them all.

  9. I’m really sorry you lost your job. And I’ll spare you the platitudes.

    Those are great reviews of Singularity. As someone who is increasingly standing on the social media sidelines and just observing, the adage that “build it and they will come,” just doesn’t work here. It’s a lottery. I see you and other self-published writers “buying” as many lottery tickets as you can afford, but it’s never enough, even if you set your expectations low. I just finished reading an essay in Poets & Writers by Michael Bourne. He is a teacher and freelance writer/editor and a “failed” novelist. He has a novel that has been rejected many times, even though some of those rejections offered positive feedback. But he keeps writing. Even as he sees friends from college get big book deals. He keeps writing because he wants to. It’s something he wants to do and he’s created a life to enable him to do it. Even though his books keep rejected. Self-publishing isn’t an option to him because he’s just not interested in being his own publisher. Believe it or not, I found his essay to be inspiring. For me, it’s the writing first and foremost. If nobody ever reads those novels I’ve composed over the years through NaNoWriMo, I’ll still feel like a success for having written them.

    • I have to write the stories. If only for me because I’m excited about them. The hardest part is getting other people excited, but I suppose that will come. I need to stop playing the comparison game, and just enjoy what is happening in the now.

    • FYI have you gotten yourself a copy of singularity yet? If you click on the cover here it will take you to the Indy gogo page. I blame Siri for all the typos here.

  10. Sorry it took so long to get here…for what it’s worth I think Singularity is brilliant. Brilliant and intelligent. There is far too little of that type of literature out there if you ask me.
    So very sorry about the job – saw that elsewhere and I just feel awful for you. My Hub lost his job very rudely and without ceremony three years ago and it has been a hell of a ride since. Hang in there.

  11. I’m so sorry I’ve been somewhat absent! And I’m very sorry you’ve lost your job. I was away during the week you posted this, and missed this post, and your whole Indiegogo venture!

    Can I still get a copy of “Singularity?” How do I go about it?
    (Horror is not really my cup of tea, but I’m sure I’ll enjoy yours, you being you, or Jessica being Jessica!)
    Also, I was looking at the number of replies you got on this one post. People love what you do. The most I get is a very small smattering of nice comments. So, people LIKE what you do. Keep at it, and all the best!
    P.S. I have missed you.

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