It’s Re-Runs all the Time at Casa de Hann-Basquiat. I’m on a Budget, Darlings.

Helena: That’s Dil-et-tante, not Dilly Aunty.

Harry: Yes, yes… you’re as bad as Hermione… Levi-O-sa, not Levi-o-SAH

Helena: Well, it’s like the difference between pledging and pre-ordering.

Harry: Which is?

Helena: Well, pledging sounds like a charitable donation, doesn’t it?

Harry: Like the March of Dimes or Jerry’s Kids.

Helena: You’re far too young to remember any of that stuff.

Harry: I don’t. I’m just saying what you told me. I don’t even know what a Dilly-aunty is.

Helena: Dilettante. Say it with me – DIL-ET-TANTE. The last e is silent.

Harry: Oooooh… spooky silent E.

Helena: Yes, it’s very spooky. I just worry that people aren’t as interested in giving me a handout as they are in buying my book.

Harry: Sounds fair. I wouldn’t give you as much as a summoning spell without payment. I’m a wizard with bills, you know.

Helena: So I just wanted to clarify that the whole PUBSLUSH (not Kickstarter… bear with me, darlings) campaign is about pre-ordering. The result is that by pre-ordering, I have the funds to do proper marketing.

Harry: Well, that’s all well and good for you; but what’s in it for THEM, Helena?

Helena: Well, for one, they get the book.

Harry: Can’t they just wait and buy it on Amazon in April after this is all done?

Helena: Of course. But if they want a personalized copy, or if maybe they just want the e-books but they might want to spring for some personalized postcards of The Countess and me…

Harry: Than this is the only way to do that. I see. Well, I think it’s a brilliant idea. Could I get paid now?

Helena: Do you take a personal check?

Harry: Hmmmm. No.

Helena: Oh. We may have a problem.

Harry: (Grumbles) Don’t make me go all Dark Side on you and use the Cruciatus curse.

Helena: Bring it, Potter. STUPIFY!

PRE-ORDER HERE

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