With Volume Two coming soon, I thought I’d give any newcomers a primer. Who am I, and what the hell am I writing about? Well, here you go — here’s a start. When you end up on The Sordid Tale So Far, you’re going to notice that it has become sparse. I’ve taken the majority of the posts down, darlings, because, well, I’ve put them into the books. But I’ve left you some samples to whet your appetite – little hors d’oeuvres to tempt you for the main course. Yes, that’s how I’ll choose to see it — certainly not like a drug dealer, who gives you the first taste for free and then gets you hooked. As my friend Jennie once remarked “You give all the very best storytelling and you give it away for free!” Or something like that, my memory gets fuzzy sometimes, and I’ve been accused (not unfairly, darlings) of being an unreliable narrator. But enough preamble. Go on and discover what I’ve actually been doing the last two years.
It has come to my attention that not everyone is entirely familiar with the Dramatis Personae of my memoirs, and that perhaps it might even be daunting to some to dive into stories with unfamiliar characters — and I think that’s a damn shame, darlings. So I now direct you to the first story featuring both myself and the eccentric and delightful Countess Penelope of Arcadia (and just where is Arcadia, you ask? And is she a real Countess? Read and find out) It’s called Couche-Tard and the Jumping Asians, and it was designed to blow your fragile little mind, so don’t be surprised if you find your mind a little blown, as if your mind were a dusty Nintendo cartridge or something.
If you work your way forward from there, I can promise you, on my honour as a card carrying dilettante, that there will be laughs aplenty…
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