Inside the Mind of the Dilettante

It’s like Inside the Actor’s Studio, but with less James Lipton.

Okay. Here we go:


Wow, Helena, you were all over the place on Facebook today.

What do you mean, voices in my head?

Well, first, that Self-Shame debacle, followed up by a pathetic attempt to always look on the bright side of life.

Well, if I’ve learned anything from Monty Python, darling…

And then a parade of ridiculousness to cover up the fact that you started the day by taking an enormous shit all over the Internet.

Shut up, voices in my head.

Hello, Father….

Regan? Is that you?

You know, half the people reading this aren’t going to have the foggiest what you are referencing…

And the other half are, right now, praying that I don’t go so far as to describe the “Let Jesus fuck me” scene, or make my head spin around while spewing pea soup all over the place.

And what do we call the people who have haven’t seen The Exorcist?

Cinematic paupers, for one. It’s brilliant! Of course, modern audiences would probably yawn.

I’m pretty sure the SAW franchise ruined the mystery of horror films — well, that and Hellraiser.

Yeah, seriously, Clive Barker needs therapy.

Says the woman who pretty much wrote a sex scene in CHUK that could qualify as tentacle porn.

Well, Jex says the Japanese will love it.

And we listen to everything Jex says?

Well, she was right about Zero. It’s great.

She wrote Zero. Of course she’s going to say it’s great.

Shut up, voices in my head. Zero is great. I’m looking forward to reading it again.

You know, she’s not even here right now. You don’t need to be kissing up.

I’m not kissing up. I’m just on a tangent. Besides, maybe someone else will read this and say “What is this ZERO thing she speaks of? and thus someone else will discover it.

Well aren’t you just a peachy promoter today.

It’s called being nice, voices in my head — you should try it some time.

We are nice. We just don’t like you. And isn’t this getting overly long?

Shut up, voices in my head.


32 responses to “Inside the Mind of the Dilettante

  1. Well, I for one am a huge fan of the voices in your head. Yawn at the exorcist? Not if they have one cinematic bone in their bodies. I simply won’t have it. I Won’t be ignored. (Sorry, my voices insisted.)

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