A Lonely Place of Dying – Friday Fictioneers

I just came back from holidays, darlings, and so I am absotively swamped at work. Didn’t think I was going to contribute this week, but something spoke to me in this picture, and so I spent the last half-hour giving it voice. This is a story about loneliness, and how some people just slip through the cracks. You probably know someone like Martin. Reach out to them. Perhaps they’ve forgotten how, and it will take the kindness of a stranger — or a friend — to save them from themselves.

Thanks Bjorn for today’s photo — Friday Fictioneers is brought to you by: Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and the makers of the Papyrus font. If you want to contribute or just read more stories, please click on the little blue frog below.

Copyright Bjorn Rudberg

Martin hadn’t packed it in and moved to some secluded spot in the woods, like he often talked about. He just stopped calling people; stopped answering his phone. He didn’t have long, unkempt hair or out of control fingernails, but the sound of his own voice had become so foreign, so he stopped using it altogether. His heart was a broken house, paint peeling, shutters gone. Looking out from behind tattered curtains, he sat at his desk and watched as people walked by his office, never noticing the dead man that waved out at them from behind a painted smile.

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26 responses to “A Lonely Place of Dying – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Dear Helena,

    Very well painted picture of loneliness. Effective and poignant.

    As for the Papyrus font, what can I say? It’s a favorite of mine. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. You see, that is the hallmark – you have it. The story already carried itself very well, I was pulled to it, then you took it up a notch, just that little one further with the finish. Like a class tennis or poker player, you can turn a game with ease.

  3. We both used a similar subject matter but from different perspectives. I’m envious of how efficient you were with your 100 words, it feels quite detailed.

  4. I’ve had a good deal in common with this poor fellow in the past. Fortunately, I came back from the brink (to the chagrin of a few folks, I’m sure).

    Cheers!
    MG

  5. Drowning, not waving, he wondered how long it would take for someone to notice the difference…and whether or not they’d stay after the first “Fuck off!”

  6. So sad, Helena. You’ve given us a powerful sense of his loneliness in this story. But by mentioning that he looks just like everyone else you’ve made it a universal condition. Really well done!

  7. Dear Helena,

    There are times when I think that Martin and I are twin sons of different mothers. Your story hit close to home.

    I’ve lately begun reaching out to myself and others and even let some of them in.

    Thanks for writing this story.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  8. Loneliness is the biggest killer, and with ever increasing population more are falling by the roadside… I just pray that more of us think beyond “self” to pull em back !

  9. Such a sad reality, Helena. Did you hear that story this past year about the woman who had been dead in her house for 5 years, but her bills were auto-payed, until her bank account ran dry… then someone went to check on her. Seriously, how does this happen? Sending you a cyber hug, to remind you that I’m here… even if I’ve been be very lame cyber friend of late! :-p This summer will end, and I will get some time back… for the things I care about. xo Wonderful story telling.

  10. Helena, you paint a vivid picture here of a lonely man, for could be more lonely than not wanting to even hear your voice. Imagine never talking. Great take.

  11. Gee, that’s pathetic. Sooner or later, Martin will just HAVE to live again if he gets tired of it. Hopefully he will.
    Good story and terrific character motivation!

  12. Dear Helena, WOW! I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be lonely and now I understand – your words are so descriptive. Very visual with these words and I can picture a dead man sitting at a table waving to the passers-by you wave back, not realizing the torment he is going through. Better than awesome! It is WONDERFUL! Nan 🙂

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