I’ve been selfish and silent and sombre, darlings, and I ask you to excuse me.
I’ve been exhausted and spent and absent, never dropping by for tea.
I’ve been overwhelmed to the point of paralysis, and spend my days like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to move to save myself.
I can’t write. I haven’t been able to find the time, or when the time presents itself, I’m not interested, or I have a headache, or else I’m upset that everything has to be on writing’s timetable. Writing and I are like lovers with incompatible libidos right now, and there’s a great deal of frustration.
Writing doesn’t know this, but I caught him with his pants around his ankles, ogling the latest volume of McSweeney’s — but that’s alright — I’ve been going to bed early and then tossing and turning with an insatiable desire to write but an inability to consummate.
And so I’m here to say hello, and that I’ve been thinking of you all — I needn’t name names – you are all my darlings and I do try to keep in touch as best I can, and read your wonderful writing first for my enjoyment, and second, as it enhances my own.
But I confess, I’ve never been very good at community, and socializing like some of you seem to do so easily – well, like Mr. Thom Yorke of Radiohead says – It wears me out .
I’m so tired.
So this is a call for interaction. Talk to me, darlings. We so rarely just shoot the shit anymore. I always appreciate your kind words and witty banter in reaction to something I’ve written, but the truth of the matter is, most of what I write is not made for intercourse — it’s performance art; it’s monologue.
So this is me opening the floor. Speak to me. Speak to me in your loudest, most obnoxious tones. Whisper to me the secrets you’ve been wanting to voice. Start a dialogue amongst yourselves. Talk about me behind my back in public. Ask me anything, and I might just answer. Tell me about your day. Relate to me your own frustrations with that fickle lover, Writing. Describe for me the perfect meal to serve to someone you want to impress. Tell me in 100 words or less about your favourite ice cream. Debate with me or others whether or not physical media is dead.
Talk to me. I’m here. I’m listening. I’ve been here, even if you didn’t see or hear me. And I’m always listening.