After Some Careful Considering…. I Think I Will Accept Your Award

I don’t do these. I don’t.

I did once, and then it started to seem silly, and like a chain letter that would never end.

But seeing as I’ve been tagged about 6 times for one of these Liebster Awards in the past couple of months, I think the universe is telling me that it wants me to have one.

(I know, darlings – what an enthusiastic acceptance speech!)

Thank you everyone who has nominated me for awards in the last little while — I do appreciate you thinking of me, and I’m not ungrateful — I’m just scatterbrained. I don’t juggle things very well, and it takes me forever to write — believe it or not. So if I were to reply to all the nominations, and then give recognition — it’s honestly all I would do every day, and I wouldn’t get any actual writing done.

If you know me at all, you know that I give love and recognition to others on a regular basis, and I will continue to do so.

This post is just a thank you to everyone who has read, is reading, and will continue to read my work.

All my love.

Your favourite dilettante,

Helena

Award Liebsters

 

And, just because I *NEVER* do these, this one time, I will answer these questions from Lizzi at Considerings, who was the last person to nominate me for this.

1. If you could wake up tomorrow and have your ideal breakfast experience, what would it be?

I’ve never had a better breakfast than in a little French Bakery in Mill Valley, California — I had a Brie and mushroom omelette with a freshly baked croissant and the best coffee I’ve ever tasted.

2. When was the last time you were really embarrassed? What happened?

Embarrassed/Mortified/Heartbroken — I had been mooning over a certain Barista With No Name for weeks, only to one day be sitting in the cafe with Penny and had to watch as his wife and baby boy came in and left with him.

3. How do you sleep best?

After having drizzled honey licked off of me by Jared Leto and/or Johnny Depp.

4. What was the last utterly frivolous thing you bought?

Um… THIS… but it was a REALLY good deal, darlings.

5. Would you rather have a tail which wagged, or make a noise like a bee, when you were happy. Justify your answer.

I never justify my answers, darling. I think I’m going to pick bee noise, because I simply couldn’t imagine having something wag between my legs — I’ve no idea how men do it.

6. Sweet or savoury?

Sweet. Chocolate. More Chocolate.

7. What was the last thing which made your heart get bigger with happiness?

Honestly? THIS – which is why I’m accepting this award!!
8. If you could *zap* something stressful into non-existence, what would it be?

My crushing sense of insecurity. I don’t just own it, I own that shit on Blu-Ray.

9. Would you rather be able to speak another language fluently, or be able to play a musical instrument really well?

I can do both, darling, so… I suppose that answers your question…

10. Who was the last person you dreamed about?

The cast of Gilligan’s Island & The Harlem Globetrotters. I just kept wondering why the Globetrotters never sent a plane or boat back for the castaways. Major plot hole there.

11. Name one thing you’re thankful for.

Right now? See answer to number 4

And now my nominees, who are completely exempt from having to do this at all, unless of course you want to answer my questions, which are bound to be truly outrageous. (And the circle goes round and round)

Lizzi

Deanna

Michelle

Red Dog

KZ

Arden

Marie

Katie

Laura

John

El Guapo

Dana

Christopher

Jennie

Hannah

Daile

JEX

And the list goes on and on. If I missed you, I’m so sorry. As much as I hate to make this analogy, I’m like Oprah today — EVERYONE gets an award. And you don’t even have to answer all 11 questions or tag other people (but you can if you want to, darlings)

Pick one question and answer it here if you like –you don’t even have to post something on your blog!

——–

1. How many toes could you lose and still feel okay wearing open toed shoes/sandals (Justify your answer)

2. Which member of The Beatles would you be willing to date today? (and being dead does not necessarily disqualify a member, but if you choose a Dead Beatle, I REALLY want to know why.)

3. Why is there no blue food, and if you could make any food blue, which food would it be?

4. Precisely how much wood do you suppose a woodchuck could actually chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (Please provide your answer in both metric and Imperial)

5. Have you ever contemplated something drastic? (ie. Suicide, Quitting your job, leaving your spouse, killing someone, stealing something, just picking up and running away from your life) What stopped you?

6. If someone offered you a million dollars to sleep with your husband/wife/partner — would you do it? Alternate — would you offer up yourself instead?

7. Spell the word lieutenant as you would pronounce it (just a quiz, but seriously, justify your answer)

8. What is your favourite cover song — a song that you prefer over the original?

9. Which aging musician, artist or writer’s death do you dread the most?

10. If you could ask me one question (other than my true identity, darlings) what would it be?

11. What would you like engraved as an epitaph on your gravestone?

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73 responses to “After Some Careful Considering…. I Think I Will Accept Your Award

  1. Yup, I don’t do them either. I just created a list of 101 facts about me and an awards page then gave up. Like you it takes me a long time to write them up and then I have a really hard time picking other people to pass it on to (just too many awesome people out there).

      • Have you ever contemplated something drastic?

        I have thought about committing suicide before. It comes up every now and again. I manage to push it down with my desire to live.

        I think about quitting my job every day, lol. The only reason I don’t is I’m not sure where I would go… such a scary thought.

        Okay question answered. I choose the non-award, lol. I am okay with not having an award. 😀

  2. Thanks Helena! I used to do these a lot but it did get to become sort of chain-lettery and I quit responding with a full post after a while. I still wholeheartedly appreciate the recognition though so thank you! Just because I don’t respond in a full-fledged post doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate them 🙂 I’ll answer one of your questions too since they were so outrageous!
    5. Have you ever contemplated something drastic? (ie. Suicide, Quitting your job, leaving your spouse, killing someone, stealing something, just picking up and running away from your life) What stopped you? I contemplate killing someone almost every day of my life. However, I look horrible in pinstripes and/or orange so that usually stops me from bashing his or her skull’s in. I think I’ve said too much…

  3. Great acceptance of a well deserved award! And thanks, you’ve got me in some great company up there.
    Have you never had blue Italian ices???
    Blue! Ask for it by name! (Which is “blue”.)

  4. Heh heh, those are great questions and answers!
    The link to the product in answer number 4 will teach me not to click random links while I’m at work 🙂

    • I forgot you, I forgot Aussa, I forgot Beth, I forgot… Um… I forget. Are you okay, by the way. Saw your post today and wanted to give you a hug. I know just how that “You are not special” thing feels. I’ll never forget the first time I was told that.

      • I’m fine, sweetie. Just took a yoga class drunk.

        Hit “like” for me on the post – and I’m going to re tweet it as a cautionary tale. Newbies on WordPress are like fresh meat.

  5. Congratulations on being recognized for being so kick-ass, Helena!
    Now get over to Pulp Comics, it’s Wednesday and you know what that means right?
    NEW COMIC BOOK DAY!!

  6. I started with one and then…..
    1. One, of course. Anyone who says more is lying. Besides you wouldn’t be able to walk without toes in open toe shoes for lack of balance….or is that ears. Poor Van Gogh.
    2. I was vacillating between John and Paul. But since John is dead, I pick him. I’m simply not ready to date darling.
    3. Ugh. Blueberries! Little known fact my ex-sister in law was OBSESSED with blue food. We used food coloring to make everything blue for a dinner party one night in her honor.
    4. The woodchuck is blind. You tell me.
    5. All of them Every GD day. Why? I’m too lazy.
    6. If I had a current partner? – Hells no. But ex-husbands- absolutely. I get a million bucks and their new wives can deal with the betrayal.

    Seriously I’ll stop.

      • Seattle! Oh, wait, not much of a vacation for you, huh? Well, I could pick you up in Seattle, rent a convertible, and drive all the way to LA, taking the PCH all the way!!! We’d stop in every little tiny town and fill up the back seat with shopping bags full of cute little souvenirs and t-shirts we’d pick up along the way. We’d have to take turns being DJ, though, otherwise I’d get all controlling with the tunes…

      • I’m in! We could play what I like to call radio roulette. Set the radio to shuffle. And hit stop when we hear a tune we like. With two it might be a little like Slap Jack.

      • SHHHHHHH….. (that’s me inhaling sharply in disagreement) I never listen to the radio, darling, for the same reason I don’t watch TV. I hate commercials, and I hate seeing/hearing the same thing over and over again — don’t worry — I’ll bring enough music so that we could drive for months without hearing the same thing twice!

      • In fairness I did almost say iPod. Because I have no doubt your music would be the perfect soundtrack. But I will say then you miss out on the absurd evangelical preachers through Kansas and such.

      • Yes until you’re a back road in nowheresville Texas and a trooper, you hope is a trooper pulls you over in the middle of a dark deserted stretch of highway. Then even jazz is irrelevant. You’re awake.

      • This is also relevant in northern Ontario. You are giving me flashbacks to a creepy drive when I was 16. shiverrrrr.
        Have to tell that story sometime. It involves Jeffrey Dahmer.

  7. Helena, I really thank you from the inside of my heart for the nomination for the Liebster award. As you have been, so have I concerning awards. However, the point of record is; the great and laureate Helena Hann Basquiat has summoned me forward from my garret to stand in the light of recognition. Oh my lady how can I refuse and such a graceful nomination it is. So thank you for this golden thing (I assume the golden thing is what makes up a Liebster) which represents all that is good and fun. I will answer the question about the tombstone. I would like engraved the following, “query this.”

  8. Just by chance (and out of serious boredom at work) I popped in and … WHAT? … find my name in your post! I love how you’ve handled the whole award thingy. I had to stop accepting because it’s just too much work and I hate choosing people to nominate. I love your questions but since I’m on a leash right now, I’ll answer only a few:
    2. John. I know he’s dead but he was and will always be my favorite.
    5. I have considered suicide but I’m an agnostic. What if there really is a Purgatory?
    6. Yes and yes, but chances are the person would factor in depreciation values and that million would shrink to about 10$ for the both of us.
    9. I dread Bruce Springsteen’s death. I’ve been a fan of his since 1975.
    10. What are your favorite clothes to write in?
    11. “She was a superior woman.” (My husband started referring to me as a “superior” woman after I hiked up a mountain side with him in Ecuador.)
    Great post! *Hugs*

    • I was out last night and somehow missed your response! Sorry! A John Lennon fan AND a Bruce Springsteen fan. Hmm. I like early Springsteen stuff. Darkness on the Edge of Town is amazing — every trrack. The River’s another good one – Point Blank is a favourite.
      What are my favourite clothes to write in? Concert Tees, and underwear. Pants stifle the creative process. Unless it’s too cold, and then I wear some fuzzy pj pants from LaSenza (Canada’s answer to Victoria’s Secret)

      • I prefer Springsteen’s early work, too, although The Rising is a favorite. What I’ll miss most about him is his activism. He’s kept politics under the radar until recently. His parody of Chris Christie’s favorite song, Born to Run, with Jimmy Fallon had me ROFL.

  9. Thank you, my dear, Helena. The awards thing gets on the tedious side at times… especially this one and the requirements to look for bloggers with less than 200 followers. I’ll answer your questions, but the process with this is very time consuming.

    • You really don’t have to darling. That’s kind of the point of my take to this. I’m being all hipster about it and accepting it ironically. You don’t have to follow any the rules or answer any of the questions. It’s just my way of saying hey and trying to start a conversation with some of my favorite people by asking them silly questions.

      • Writer’s block has me by the nuts, and the girl next to me is quite darling. I might spontaneously ask her if she wants to grab dinner. Alas, due to the writer’s block…. Your questions, my answers…

        1. How many toes could you lose and still feel okay wearing open toed shoes/sandals (Justify your answer)

        Four, but the toes would have to vary on both feet. You cannot wear sandals on both feet if you don’t have the toes to keep them on. I don’t like Velcro, so footwear with that noisy nuisance would never be considered. Two toes off of each foot. Final answer.

        2. Which member of The Beatles would you be willing to date today? (and being dead does not necessarily disqualify a member, but if you choose a Dead Beatle, I REALLY want to know why.)

        I was always a Harrison fan. Not sure why, but he stood out to me in a way that the other three could not. Perhaps he has a daughter or niece?

        3. Why is there no blue food, and if you could make any food blue, which food would it be?

        But there is blue food! Blueberries. Purple-ish juice. Bazinga. End of story. If there were not blueberries, I would make oranges blue.

        4. Precisely how much wood do you suppose a woodchuck could actually chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (Please provide your answer in both metric and Imperial)

        Providing the answer in “logs” A woodchuck would chuck 27 logs before growing tired.

        5. Have you ever contemplated something drastic? (ie. Suicide, Quitting your job, leaving your spouse, killing someone, stealing something, just picking up and running away from your life) What stopped you?

        I’ve stolen/”five-finger discount” a poster simply to see if I could. Rene Magritte’s The Son of Man. Despite fulfilling the curiosity, the act did nothing for me except make me feel guilt for following through on something so mundane and stupid. The only thing I took away from the act was… the poster.

        Suicide had been contemplated a few times in the past, but not enough to really do anything about it. Feeling miserable felt great, a creative outlet, and it was known that life would only get better–life did and does.

        6. If someone offered you a million dollars to sleep with your husband/wife/partner — would you do it? Alternate — would you offer up yourself instead?

        You can’t put an amount on love, and I disagree with cheating. If the person was very persistent, I’d punch them in the face and say they were no Robert Redford.

        7. Spell the word lieutenant as you would pronounce it (just a quiz, but seriously, justify your answer)

        Lieutenant. I loved a good spelling bee. It is spelled how it sounds to me.

        8. What is your favourite cover song — a song that you prefer over the original?

        Prefer over the original? That’s tough. All the covers that I think of are not as good as the original, and that includes Manfred Mann’s awful space cadet cover of Springsteen’s “Blinded By the Light.” However, Sugar Ray does a cover of Steve Miller’s “Abracadabra,” which any Steve Miller cover is essentially better. This includes Seal’s “Fly Like an Eagle.”

        9. Which aging musician, artist or writer’s death do you dread the most?

        Many of the greats are getting up there. Mel Brooks comes to mind almost immediately. His humor, writing, and movies are classics in history.

        10. If you could ask me one question (other than my true identity, darlings) what would it be?

        If a woodchuck could… kidding…

        Do you draft/sketch with pens or pencils?

        11. What would you like engraved as an epitaph on your gravestone?

        “And simply so.”

      • Just realized I owe you an answer — I sketch in pen. I used to do some abstract, mosaic-like artwork but those days are past.
        I also used to write everything longhand, not type — but those days are gone, too. I do make notes and sometimes chapter synopsis by hand still.

  10. Too kind…but I digress…to the answers!
    1. Moot point, no sandals ever!
    2. Who? Nina Simone…nuff said.
    3. Don’t the Japanese eat Blue Whale?
    4. 2013 Harley Davidson FXDF Fat Bob
    5. Suicide 25yrs ago, the rest last week. Couldn’t leave my Queen & kids.
    6. Nope and nope, not enough zeros
    7. I never justify my answers either but I don’t see how you could say it different to how it’s already spelt.
    8. Lynerd Skynerds version of J.J.Cales Call Me The Breeze.
    9. Sophia Loren & Sylvester Stallone
    10. When would you like a tour of my Bar?
    11. In very small print, down the bottom it should say Get The Fuck Off My Chest!

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  12. I’m following the rules. For once. I’m picking one.
    5. Have you ever contemplated something drastic? (ie. Suicide, Quitting your job, leaving your spouse, killing someone, stealing something, just picking up and running away from your life) What stopped you?

    Sort of, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
    More to the point, have I done any of the drastic things I’ve contemplated? Nope, got pregnant instead. Yes, yes, alas no, yes, yes.

    Several times on the last one. I have a bad habit. Must flee. Must flee now – it helps that the boy wants to go to the UK for college, but that’s in 5 years!!

    Okay, I’m breaking the rules (can’t help it): Question for the Dilettante: Is there any one artist – writer, painter, cartoonist, mime, singer, songwriter, model, actor, dancer – who has influenced you the most? Who and how?

    • So many people! I am going to break the rules and pick two. David Bowie because he is many of those things you just described – writer artist actor musician icon. And a writer – Nick Hornby. Don’t tell too many people, but if you read Nick Hornby you will realize how his voice awakened mine.

  13. Congratulations, Helena.

    I won’t answer #1, because I’m doing a video tour of my feet on Friday.

    On my tombstone, if I have one, I want it to read “She lived life.”

  14. *happydance* Wow, for real? I made your list with my introduction to you? That’s AWESOME! Cos whatever you “Own on Blu-ray” I meant every word, so I’m glad you like it so much.

    You handled this with style, and thank you – I appreciate you accepting and doing this, mad questions and all. Nicely fielded 😀

    And thanks for the return nomination, I cherry-picked a few of your questions to answer:

    3. Why is there no blue food, and if you could make any food blue, which food would it be? There should ALWAYS be blue food, but the fake, terrible, full-of-additives kind. I don’t care what. Blue colouring has a delightful tendency to send me utterly loopy – I once nearly lost my job after having a blue ice-cream in the afternoon and coming in later to run a staff meeting. I was giggling and shaking and slurring my words…had a devil of a job to convince them I wasn’t drunk (just high!)

    5. Have you ever contemplated something drastic? (ie. Suicide, Quitting your job, leaving your spouse, killing someone, stealing something, just picking up and running away from your life) What stopped you? Yes. I think lack of imagination stopped me. And the knowledge that I’m not that strong – not cut out for it. Probably the same reason I’ve not developed an eating disorder – I just don’t have the strength of character to do it. And now I have Niece and Neff, it wouldn’t be fair to them.

    7. Spell the word lieutenant as you would pronounce it (just a quiz, but seriously, justify your answer) “Loo-TENnant” – because I’m English, and that’s how we say it.

    8. What is your favourite cover song — a song that you prefer over the original? I have a HUGE soft spot for Them’s cover of Van Morrison’s ‘It’s all over now Baby Blue’, but it tends to be one which can send me tailspinning, in the right mood, so I have to be careful with it…

    10. If you could ask me one question (other than my true identity, darlings) what would it be? How tall are you?

    11. What would you like engraved as an epitaph on your gravestone? She had fun!

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