Thank You KZ!

Thank you KZ Morano for sharing the cover reveal to Memoirs of a Dilettante Volume One.

K.Z. is the scariest woman I know.

Shiver.

She doesn’t only write scary stories — she’s been known to write touching, lovely poetry and short fiction as well — but when she is in a certain mood….

Let’s just say you might want to be wearing a diaper while you read.

She’s the mistress of the stab in the dark; the cold wet shreik; that crawly thing that touches your foot in the night and causes you to fall down the stairs.

She writes the most incredible short fiction — flash fiction if you like. KZ creates a world of fear in 100 words or less that other writers spend pages trying to achieve.

Go on… go over and read. 100 words to convince you I’m right. If I’m wrong, I owe you a pint.

A little while back, KZ posted some selfies, and they were so incredibly sweet-looking that I protested that it simply couldn’t be her.

And then it got me thinking, that maybe the sweet cherubic face was just a front. In my mind, I’ve devised a television commercial (hey, I’m a dilettante, darlings — someday I may try my hand behind the camera; who knows?) for KZ.

Okay, so picture it. KZ is sitting in a red velvet highbacked chair in front of a crackling fireplace. Not really spooky — more of a Masterpiece Theatre vibe than Vincent Price. She’s smiling sweetly, and holding a little kitten in her lap, stroking it lovingly.

On the floor is a rug, made of the skin of a werewolf, and behind her on the wall are severed heads of all variety of monsters.

She has, on a table beside her, a cup of what we assume is tea, but as she takes a sip and puts the cup down, it has stained her lips red and we realize she is drinking hot blood.

KZ looks directly at the camera, and, smiling ever so beautifully, says “Read my stories, children, or mommy will eat your souls.”

Then she turns from the camera and yells in a shrill, terrifying voice: “CLIIIIIIIVE!”

All at once, her manservant (who is Clive Barker) comes shuffling in subserviently.

“Yes, M-m-mistress?”

She hands him the kitten with a look of disgust.

“Bring me a fatter one, Clive. This one’s all skin and bones. Mistress has an appetite tonight.”

Clive Barker shuffles off to fetch KZ a fatter kitten, and we fade to black as the voiceover guy says:

KZ Morano. She’ll eat your soul… and your cat.

—–

Okay, so I don’t really think that KZ eats kittens, darlings — she’s actually really sweet — truly. But I’m pretty sure that the evil little goblin that lives in her mind and writes all those bone-chilling stories eats them by the litter.

I’ve watched with excitement as KZ’s stories have made their way into various anthologies and magazines over the past few months.

And when I asked her if she’d take part in this cover reveal, she told me that she, too, has a collection of her stories coming in the spring. It seems I’ve finally found a cure for this filthy sleeping habit I’ve developed.

Thank you again, K.Z. for all the chills and gruesome gasps, and for taking the time to share the cover reveal.

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7 responses to “Thank You KZ!

  1. LOL i seriously can’t stop laughing! that image of Clive Barker as my manservant… disturbing. 🙂 lol i love clive barker. Thanks, Helena and you should definitely try making a commercial, this one was awesome. 🙂

  2. Pingback: Thank you, Helena! | The Eclectic Eccentric Shopaholic·

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