Run to the Border – Friday Fictioneers

Hello darlings, and welcome to Friday…. on Wednesday.

It’s been a hectic couple of days for me, as Monday was a holiday here in the utopia I live in, but apparently the rest of the world kept spinning madly, so I was treated to a forklift full of work yesterday.

As such, I figured I’d better get this in quickly and then do my very best to read the rest of your stories over the next couple of days.

If you’ve just arrived from a parallel dimension where Rochelle Wisoff-Fields has a goatee and is evil, you may not have any idea what this is. The Twitter version is this: Write 100 words based on a photo prompt #goover100wordsandyouloseafinger

Do make sure to re-tweet, darlings, as it’s terribly counter to the spirit of the exercise to just read and ignore.

This week’s photo was provided by David Stewart, a native Canadian living abroad — David, you’ll be happy to know that they are closing Taco Bells by the dozens here in Ontario, anyway — whether due to health code violations or lack of business, I don’t know, but I’d say it’s a win for everyone.

100 words exactamente



“Run to the border, you said,” the Countess Penelope of Arcadia moaned. “Let’s go to Taco Bell, you said.”

Penny was bent over, making unladylike noises, cursing the name of your favourite dilettante, having just lost a taco eating contest to yours truly.

The problem with a taco eating contest, darlings, is that no matter who wins, you both end up losing.

“You know they use Grade F meat, right?” Penny looked at me accusingly. “That’s like — retired circus animals and roadkill.”

“There, there, darling,” I smiled. “No need to be a sore loser. Let’s get you some Pepto.”


86 responses to “Run to the Border – Friday Fictioneers

  1. First off I love tacos (but taco bell is never a good idea – heh). Second — where abouts in Ontario are you? I am in the Greater Toronto Area. Ontario for life. Lol

  2. Up to our assets in snow here in Qc. Eating contests never end in a “clean” win ( wind?) loved your story…please send some sunshine our way would ya?

  3. Well-written and humorous story. They don’t have Taco Bell here in India. It’s against the law to kill a cow where we are so chicken is the favorite meat. Seeing pigs and goats eating the local garbage kind of turns me off other meat.

  4. Ugh, just the idea of a taco eating contest at Taco Bell…. 🙂 But at least you won, right? And I don’t care as much if they close down the Bell as long as Tim Horton’s is still there when I get back.

  5. Oh. My. Word. I fell in love with your post the moment I read the introduction. I could hear a voice of chocolate and caramel reading the words in my head! I love the alternate dimension, the story, the whole 9 miles! Also, great icon.

      • I’ve pressed the “Follow” button, so now I am a follower of your saucy voice! I read your “author description” on Amazon and I had to keep myself from laughing. I love your sense of humor! I’ll be glad to keep reading your posts!

  6. And now you’ve insulted Taco Bell. MONSTER. Just kidding, although really I would settle for that miserable excuse for Mexican food at this point.

  7. Enter too many taco eating competitions and you’ll both end up gaining rather than losing! I don’t think we have Taco Bell in our part of the world. Maybe we can thank Canada for thwarting their world-wide domination plans. Funny story, Helena.

  8. Actually, I like Taco Bell, but only in a pinch. I’m accustomed to eating in Mexican friends’ homes where the REAL stuff gets cooked.
    That description of the meat made my day! Hilarious!
    Muchisimas gracias!

  9. We used to hang out at a fast food joint located within one of the halls of the University I attended. The name was Taco Bell. And the food was superb. Nothing prepared with Grade F meat, dear. 🙂

  10. retired circus animals? You’re not talking about monkey meat are you? Put enough hot sauce on it and it will taste just like one of those cute little trained dogs.

  11. Dear Helena, Grade F meat? Ha ha ha I loved it. Clever you be and enjoyed by me! You are so witty and well versed. Thanks for all the entertainment (can I say Darling?), I look forward every week to your take on the prompt! Thanks, Nan

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