The Seaweed is Always Greener – Friday Fictioneers

Hello, and welcome to a new year, and the newest edition of Friday Fictioneers, an exercise in economical writing not for the loquacious, verbose or otherwise wordy.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields is our hostess with the mostess, and you can read all about the whole shebang over HERE (just click on the blue letters, darlings, and through the magic of Al Gore’s second most insidious invention, you will be transported to a purple page full of the information you seek)

This week’s prompt got me thinking in two different veins, so I hope I chose the right one — if not, well, there’ll be other opportunities for me to stretch my writing muscles (which are sore, darlings — I really need a massage.)

The photo this week was provided by Dawn Q. Landau, and it is a great one — I hope to read all kinds of interesting stories.

If you’re curious as to the story I DID’T write — if enough of you are interested, perhaps I’ll write it. It began with a woman who had tried to quit smoking so many times unsuccessfully that she was willing to try one more thing — it’s got a surprise ending — don’t know if I can pull it off in 100 words though.



“But I am a princess!” I screamed indignantly.

“Ah, yes, I’ve heard,” the king replied unkindly. “And you used to be a mermaid, too, I suppose.”

There was no going back. I had committed to life on land.

After months of trying to convince people of the truth, Eric was declared insane, and exiled.

Then the babies came, and our greatest fears were realized.

Now all we have is each other, and this ramshackle hut on the beach, where we can still be close to the children.

All three hundred of them.

I wish I’d listened to that stupid crab.


100 words – Parody


89 responses to “The Seaweed is Always Greener – Friday Fictioneers

  1. This is so different from your usual…and I loved it. I’m still chuckling. Speaking of quitting smoking, how’s that going for you? Still off the gaspers, I hope. Happy 2014.


  2. Oh I love it! But Ariel didn’t did she?

    The seaweed is always greener
    In somebody else’s lake
    You dream about going up there
    But that is a big mistake
    Just look at the world around you
    Right here on the ocean floor
    Such wonderful things surround you
    What more is you lookin’ for?

  3. I would like to see more (un)Happily ever after Princess stories…you have Ariel and Snow, who’s next? Fantastic as always. And, also as always, I had to restrain myself from reading yours before I wrote. I bow to your superior fictioneers talent, yet again.

    • Hello, O Hyperborean Wanderer — back from the balmy climes of the Lone Star State I presume. I shall take your suggestion to heart, and already have an idea for another tale concerning a certain princess having to enter the Witness Protection Program.

      • Indeed, I am back in the so-called Polar Vortex. If this is a New England winter I’m pretty sure New Englanders have the corner on exaggeration. Several snow “puddles” a blizzard do not make. IT’S ALL A SCAM TO KEEP THE SOUTHERNERS OUT!


        I look forward to reading it!

  4. This was awesome. 🙂 The thought of getting baby-sitting for 300, not to mention Christmas presents, university. I guess most of them will be eaten before they reach maturity though. 🙂

  5. A lovely story, and romantic until the ‘crab’ punchline, which made it funny.
    I gave up smoking on March 24th 2012 – my birthday – and have stuck with it so far. Whenever I am tempted to backslide, which I still am occasionally, I remind myself how much I hate the smell on other people’s breath and clothes. Keep going.

  6. I too, loved the 300 babies line – very nicely delivered. But I was confused about Eric. Who was he? The narrator’s partner I presume, but why was he declared insane and exiled. I think I must be missing something…

  7. Yes assuming Ariel and Eric continued on their fairy tale is presumptuous, because eventually the infatuation will morph into daily life and that is when Sebastian can cross his claws and say “I told you so!”

  8. Hi Helena,
    I like that drawing of you. Very becoming. To your story, I think the royal line of secession is going to be very complicated with 300 young nobles. And I think family life is going to be even worse than the woman who lived in the shoe. Ron

  9. as soon as I read the title, I knew this one was going to be something special. You didn’t disapoint. I’m assuming the princess is Catholic and is 100% against birth control.

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