Dolphin Friendly – Friday Fictioneers

Did you miss me, darlings? It’s been terribly hectic, and so I just took a week off.

I’m returning with a bit of banter between the Countess and myself. I could have gone on and on and on, but thanks to the word limit, you are spared such drivel.

Friday Fictioneers is a challenge put forth and moderated by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields (the founder of the feast, indeed!) and challenges participants to write 100 words (or so) inspired by a photo which comes from different sources each week.  This week’s comes from Jean L. Hays. Find more stories HERE


100 Words of bantery goodness.

copyright Jean L Hays

copyright Jean L Hays

“Did you know that there’s actually two animals named dolphin?” The Countess Penelope of Arcadia asked, shoving a can of tuna in my face to show a terribly misleading image of a bottlenose dolphin with the words Dolphin Friendly written below it.

“Yes,” I replied. “I told you, remember? Dolphin the mammal and dolphin the fish, which look a lot like tuna, and are often captured in fisher’s nets by accident.”

“So why do the stupid tuna companies…”

“Uh uh uh,” I interrupted, sparing you all a rant on the idiocy of the average consumer, “You’re out of words, darling.”



39 responses to “Dolphin Friendly – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Maybe by “dolphin friendly” is that kind of Chinese to English mis-translation that happens and what they really mean is “yummy dolphin”…

  2. Ha! I imagine the idiocy of the average consumer could fill volumes (to be beautifully bound, of course, and sold to those same idiots 😉 ). Love this take on the prompt!

  3. I felt she was just getting into her stride there. Shame to let a little thing like word count get in the way of a good rant… Nice one Helena.

  4. ha! liked this. “You’re out of words, darling.” i’ll try using that in a conversation. then i’ll let you know how it goes ^^

  5. I bet the countess is fuming with anger by this word restriction, but it’s written so strongly. I’m really looking forward to reading the book when it’s released!

  6. The post is blogalicious, but this: “Like how Gerber baby food has the picture of the baby on their jars, indicating that what’s inside is 100% pure processed human baby?” is why I blog. I’m more “hell, yes! ” than “Darling” but I am inspired by funny, smart women. Can’t wait for the book, darling!

    • Thank you so much… I’ve just been visiting your blog and look forward to seeing more! I love meeting like-minded people here, and am always looking for more clever women to read. Having just read your post about racism, I think (no, darling, I insist) that you should check this out: Just make sure you wear your sarcasm hat, darling, or someone might get hurt. Thanks for dropping by, I do hope you stick around.

  7. It reminds me of stupid warning labels like “The coffee is hot” – No shit Sherlock! They should have one that says “Beware, this label will chap your ass.”

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