Over the next few days I will reveal the truth about the lies.
Lie #1: Helena Hann-Basquiat and the Tattoo of Parental Perturbation
Lie #2: Helena Hann-Basquiat’s Brush With Fame
Lie #3: Helena Hann-Basquiat and the Cast of Kick Ass
Once, at an after party for the movie Kick Ass, which was filmed in Hamilton, Ontario, and for which the talent agency I work for provided background actors, I got a wee bit tipsy, and may have made out just a little bit with Nicholas Cage, and definitely threw up on Aaron Johnson.
The Truth: Chloë Grace Moretz is a wonderful girl, but the other stars of Kick Ass did not seem to be enjoying Hamilton very much, and in fact, made some nasty comments about the city and its people in interviews later on. But no, I did not make out with Nicholas Cage — I was an absolute professional darlings. Though I kind of wished I had thrown up on Aaron Johnson after reading him disrespecting the people of Hamilton. You only get to do that if you live around there (it’s really not that hard to take cheap shots, darlings, but if you’re a visitor, have some class and keep your mouth shut.