Sexpositional Distinterestedcourse – Friday Fictioneers

Hello again, and before you say something, yes, I made up two new words for my title. Take it up with Webster’s.

Last week I made some of you cry, and so this week I’m hoping to make you laugh.

(Sorry… preliminaries — this is Friday Fictioneers, 100 words… etc. etc… go HERE to check out the rules and find the other stories.)

I saw this week’s photo and immediately knew that there was going to be a lot of Game of Thrones-esque writing, and so, rather than fight it, I decided to throw my hat in the ring, only Helena-style.

Don’t you miss the days when exposition happened over a cup of coffee, or, you know, during a break in battle?

——–

copyright Kent Bonham

copyright Kent Bonham

In the back rooms of the stone corridor, exposition was overheard, accompanied by the slapping of hard thighs against soft flesh.

“…always pays his debts, you know,” the man assured her, thrusting repeatedly at her well-trained backside.

“Oh yes, I’m sure, my Lord,” the courtesan agreed, engaging in political discourse as was perfectly natural during intercourse; even of the paid-for, doggy-style variety.

“And when I’m king, I’ll not let you be exploited like this,” he said, casting a noble glance at the camera.

“Oh, this isn’t exploitation, my Lord,” she said, casting a glance of her own, “this is HBO.”

————

I know I’ve been lax at sharing my favourites, but this one just jumped out at me so much that I had to share it. If you haven’t read Moondustwriter’s The Ancient Alley’s Story then you are missing something dark and wonderful.

Freya channeled her inner Swiftian satirist for “Sweets for my Sweet”… an excellent cautionary tale.

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64 responses to “Sexpositional Distinterestedcourse – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Ha! That’s why we don’t have HBO. 🙂 As I don’t watch Game of Thrones, probably much of this is lost on me, at least on the specific, level. Plenty of this (minus the HBO) going on throughout history, though.

    janet

  2. Probably a lot lost on me because I also know nothing about Game of Thrones, but still made me smile. One thing – can you have back rooms to a corridor?

  3. I loved the idea of a conversation that proposes to explain that the exploitation will end with kingship said during and in front of the whole world of HBO. Man this is good stuff.

  4. Pingback: Bodacious bard bandies ballads | The D/A Dialogues·

    • We’re living in a time where culturally, “the great unwashed masses” have lost their interest for good storytelling on its own. But this is just a cyclic trend. Just wait long enough and we’ll get puritanical again….. and then I’ll complain about that (ha ha!)

  5. The Game of Thrones/HBO references were lost on me too, but I always enjoy reading your work. I loved the inference that the simple act of kingship would mend his ways, and those of others. Nice one.

  6. Hilarious! Marooned in a strange country, I am at last watching Game of Thrones from the start, which I never thought I would like, but now I realise it is just Shakespeare in a strange location. However, I could do without the gratuitous sex, doggy style or whatever. I could do without gratuitous sex in everything. Purposeful sexuality is where its at!

  7. Well,I don’t watch HBObut no cares! This was so funny!First I loved the two new words you coined-that started me off-am still giggling!Then the phrase,”well-trained backside.” and ,”even of the paid-for, doggy-style variety.”,had me snorting!Too good Dahling! 😀

    • Thank you so much! And may I just say how much I appreciate your comments — that you take the time to give specific comments just makes my day. I find it hard enough to just read every story, let alone give detailed feedback!

      • Ah Helena,I too struggle everyday to find time -I feel very guilty when I cannot leave a proper comment specially when the piece is excellent-am forever playing the catch-up game 😛 Btw,I see your comment on the top -almost on every post I am reading-so I know you do leave interesting comments and are well loved in this community-as you deserve to be:-)I love your sense of humour and am in awe of your excellent writing skills xx

  8. Excellent! I love your delivery – the kind that floats my boat and raises the wry smile. Nice. And then I wish I had written it myself…

    And thank you so much for the mention and link 😀

  9. Sexy and bold. I haven’t watched much Game of Thrones. I know I must be the last one. But, I could totally see this. I liked your words, too. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find them in the dictionary soon.

  10. I haven’t watched (or read Game of Thrones). Not my cup of tea in general, but your piece here is hilarious and totally nails (pun intended) what I had heard about the HBO series. “the slapping of hard thighs against soft flesh” … gratuitous sex is so predictable and thus (thrust?) so boring. Thank you for making me laugh 🙂

  11. Hi Helena,
    First, I think it’s very sweet and unselfish of you to promote the writing of others. You have a big, warm heart. Speaking of warm, that’s how I feel after that sensual pleasure story you created. Now I must go take a cold shower, and after that, maybe some HBO. Ron

  12. Dear Helena,

    There’s exposition and then there’s exposition. I think I prefer it over coffee…exposition, I mean. Not familiar with Game of Thrones but I don’t think you needed that reference. I am familiar with HBO. 😉

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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