The Same Deep Water As You – Friday Fictioneers

It’s Wednesday, darlings, so that means it’s time for another edition of Friday Fictioneers — details found HERE.

Write 100 words based on a photo prompt — this weeks is a really good one, and if you’re reading this and haven’t written yet, for the love of Ferris, please refrain from writing a flood/disaster story — for me, pretty please? This is such a great photo, and unless you’ve got something absotively mind-blowing in the disaster genre, go for your second idea. I know, I’m bossy, but the first thing I thought of when I saw this photo was a flood story, and then the second thing I thought was “Oh shit, I’m going to read 40 flood stories this week aren’t I?” and then I came up with a third thought, based on the anthropomorphization of the three shopping carts. For some reason, this picture reminded me of insecure teenagers, and how cruel teenage girls can be, and how lonely those years are.

Genre: Drama

100 words eggs act tickley

————————————————————————————————————–

Copyright Janet Webb

Copyright Janet Webb

“Look at her, Gloria. Standing over there like she’s so special.”

“I know, right? Like, as if.”

“Suzie thinks she’s so hot.”

“She thinks she’s too good for us, Liz.”

“Why’s she’s standing over there by herself anyway?”

“I don’t know; why don’t you go ask her?”

“Uh uh, you go ask her – I’m not talking to that stuck up bitch.”

———-

I hate myself, Suzie thought, sighing. Why can’t I be like Liz and Gloria? They make everything look easy. They’d never let me hang with them – they’re too good, too pretty, too popular to be seen with me.

—————————————————————————————————————-

If you haven’t read Oku no Hosomichi by Doug Macilroy yet, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200, just go….

Lisa Yow-Williams, a writer I don’t believe I’ve read before, wowed me with her wonderful writing this week. Rewriting a Life is worth your time.

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71 responses to “The Same Deep Water As You – Friday Fictioneers

  1. Dear Helena,

    Forgive me for posting before I read your plea re disasters. I did try to soft-pedal the plague and focus on the world through the eyes of Basho’s many times removed follower on his journey.

    Your story captured the gulf between the archipelagos that are teenagers. Reminds me of the saying, ‘If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.’ That you shared these feelings so eloquently makes me thankful you weathered the storm of those turbulent years. Thank you.

    Aloha,

    Doug

      • Dear Helena,

        Well, it has been three days now and we had mostly talking shopping carts and disasters of the soggy variety so it appears few took your advice. You get an ‘A’ for effort and some good energy headed your way from Hawaii for fighting the good fight.

        See you next week (and looking forward to it.)

        Aloha,

        Doug

  2. I had the same first thought as you – I’m not going to write a flood disaster story. And the second one was, ‘nor am I going to anthropomorphise (note the ‘s’) the shopping trolleys’. I’m glad I didn’t – you did it so much better than I could ever have done. 😉 Well done.

  3. You’re so clever. As am I, but I am just about to post my effort in the midst of a very late lunch break (it’s 4.15pm, heavens to Betsy!), so I am going to disappoint you 🙂 But mine is a reverse. And it might not be a disaster… who knows!

  4. Teenage angst ain’t pretty and it ain’t easy. I like the way you showed that neither side was really secure in themselves and the different ways they dealt with those feelings. Insecurity at any age can be difficult to deal with but especially so when younger (or maybe not.) At any rate, well done!

    janet

      • I thrilled that the photo was such a hit. I like to think of myself as a bit of a photographer and this is one of my favorite photos, so it’s encouraging. 🙂

        Hope your day is sunny, at least inside, if not out. It’s cold and rainy here and I finally had to turn the heat on as it was approaching 60 inside.

        janet

  5. I actually felt sorry for Suzie – and she’s a shopping cart! I love how you gave inanimate objects feelings, both cruelty and self-loathing. Very well done. As for my story – it’s not about the flood (never even crossed my mind), but I have delved into my inner Stephen King for Halloween…. 😉

  6. I love on your take on the shopping carts – just like girls in high school. Yes, it is true, there is a similar one with guy carts, and yet, I would never have thought of such a thing. My imagination is still fixed on the end of the world as we know it….

  7. I can’t believe how seemingly effortlessly you can make a story in so few words! It’s the ultimate expression of less is more but you have to have such a precise idea and so much disipline. Bravo!

  8. I too thought..ugh to the flood stories. i thought they’d all be about Sandy. So far not a one. But a few conversational shopping carts, ha, imagine that! lol
    I like your exchange and it reminded me of when I reunited with some high school friends for our fiftieth birthday. We were all so wrong about EVERYTHING!

  9. Hi Helena,
    First, thanks for the comment on my Columbus blog. I celebrated Columbus Day by killing a few indigenous types. You know, the traditional festivities.
    Your story reminded me of school days and I liked the contrast between the snotty bitches and the insecure cart. Apparently though none of them have enough sense to come in out of the rain. Ron

  10. Great piece, goes far beyond just teenage girls to hit on universal truths of human nature. We so often don’t connect because of pre-existing ideas that are bullshit. This week you are indeed my darling! Love it!

  11. Ouch — teenagers can be so harsh. And way off the mark, given poor Suzie’s insecurity. You came up with a creative take on the photo, with the two carts off to the side judging the lone one. Far from a flood story, but then, teenagers may feel each day is apocalyptic.

  12. Excellent piece, Helena. This picture was just ripe for the picking. I’m thinking maybe I should write one with shopping carts having a keg party. So what if they’re taking shots of WD40. I’m sure it’ll loosen ’em up.

  13. Dear Helena,

    A couple of years ago I was part of my high school reunion planning committee. Several years have passed (and I do mean several) since we were teenagers. Each of us had hung out with a different social group so it was as if we were meeting strangers. It was amazing how alike we were from the more popular, sports minded girls to the more “frumpy” artsy types, etc. We were all insecure, felt awkward and looked at the other as having it all together. Oops, I didn’t mean to add another 100 word story to your blog. 😉
    You did a great job of seeing beyond the obvious and writing a great story.
    Loved your introduction for more reasons than I dare say.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

    • It’s like a double bluff, darling… sometimes I think of the most obvious thing and then decide to go for it anyway, in case everyone else decides to NOT go with the most obvious thing. Besides, I’m sure yours is wonderful. Off to read it now.

  14. i can see why this reminded you of insecure gossipy teenage girls. great take on the photo and yup, glad you didn’t write a flood story:)

  15. Great take. Hopefully we all become a little bit nicer to each other as we get older. And more secure. (I feel Gloria is more attractive than Suzie while Liz is more interesting than the other two. Suzie, on the other hand, has the best dress sense. Oh, this is so difficult. Do you think they’ll be up for a menage a quatre?)

  16. So you complain about disaster stories and then write one yourself. What bigger disaster than being a teenager? 🙂 Excellent take on the photo prompt, Helen. You have an original mind. Ann

  17. I don’t dwell on my teenage years very often – spotty, red haired, tall and gangly – but they came back on reading your story. The overwhelming urge to fit in, to belong to the group, to be the same. A well written piece Helena, I forgive you for reminding me of the spots…

  18. Okay, I wrote a flood story. I’m guilty! I had a hard time, so sue me. I liked your take. And now that I got the flood story off my chest, I’ve thought about at least two other ideas. Yours is clever, and well done. Those shopping carts took me back in time.

  19. Oh I liked this story Helena. Who knew shopping carts could be so cruel? But I must say, one of the perks of aging is the older you get the less you have to deal with the likes of Liz and Gloria. I’m sure they’re still around but I know enough to steer my wobbly wheels in the otther direction when I see them coming!

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