I thought that I was just tired, darlings. But today, though I am at work and being a productive member of society, I feel like someone beat me with a bag of oranges.
That’s when I reach for DayQuil, the Daytime, Non-Drowsy, Congested-Stuffy Head, Sore Throat, Cough, Aching, Fever So-You-Can-Get-Through-The-Day Medicine, which may or may not have been invented by Al Gore.
The Internet, however — that’s another story. Al Gore is definitely to blame for that socially-crippling invention.
All this information and freedom and networking, and what do we use it for? Posting silly pictures, telling off total strangers for their differing opinions on fictional characters, and porn.
Pass me the liquid meth that makes the day a little easier!