Isn’t it Ionic? – Friday Fictioneers

I couldn’t help myself, darlings — you’ll just have to forgive my giant groaner this week.

This is my entry for Friday Fictioneers, and it’s another tale of the Countess and myself, though you can read it fresh without knowing anything about us other than the fact that we are hilarious.

It comes in at 99 words, and if you demand more quality from your writing, go to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ page where you’ll find more about the whole exercise, as well as other, more quality stories to read. But perhaps I’m being self-deprecatory and you’ll laugh your sore ass off at this.


by Dawn M. Miller

“They’re Doric columns, I’m telling you, Helena — I just took a class in Greek History.” The Countess Penelope of Arcadia (which is apparently in the area of Athens or perhaps Peloponnesia) proclaimed.

“And I insist they’re Ionic,” I insisted insistently.

(Allow me an indulgence, darlings, as I absolutely adore alliteration.)

As we admired the Greek-inspired decor, the Countess and I found ourselves in disagreement.

“Excuse me, miss,” I said demurely to the cashier, who looked remarkably like Alanis Morissette, “but what would you say is the style of these Greek columns?”

“Isn’t it Ionic?” She replied without missing a beat.


As time and health allow I will be reading, commenting and posting my favourites below.

KZ takes the first pick for this with her unorthodox styled Google Search History. Brilliant, darling!

J.K. Bradley gave me a case of the paranoid creeps with his tale “The Experiment”.

The Reclining Gentleman’s “Mall” is full of depth, and its subtle details tell a much larger story.


49 responses to “Isn’t it Ionic? – Friday Fictioneers

  1. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ You crack me up! And what an extraordinarily well-informed cashier too, she’ll go far. Well at least as far as the nearest recording studio and frankly who’d want to go further than that these days?

    • I had fun with this, darling. I find that in order to avoid telling the same story as many others, one has to focus on some smaller detail rather than the actual focus of the picture itself (ie. the jewelry counter). You did an excellent job yourself using the setting as inspiration for your tragic character.

  2. groan. haha! but still hilarious ^^ only you could pull that off.
    thanks for the kind words and i hope you feel better soon.. πŸ™‚

  3. Pingback: Friday Fictioneers: Echo | The Blurred Line·

  4. Now I’ll be singing that song in my head ALL DAY!!

    And I want to know what kind of columns those are now…*intently investigates image*

  5. Dear Helena Darling,

    A good groan can be healthy for the soul. I’m guilty of both laughing and groaning over this one. I’ll be writing a column later.



  6. Dear Helena,

    When you give us a spoiler alert and I still groan (with pleasure) you know you’ve pulled it off. What a great story. (I spied the the columns and wondered myself, honest. I’m glad you sussed it out so perfectly.



    • I think the line ‘β€œAnd I insist they’re Ionic,” I insisted insistently’ might just be the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written, and also one of my favourites as well.
      I’m such a vain, ridiculous person, darling, and I thank you for indulging me!!

  7. I was going to guess Corinthian on the architecture, but who am I to argue with one who insists it’s Ionic. I really enjoyed this one, Helena.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s