Top ten signs a man is writing a woman who has no understanding of women
10. She always climaxes loudly and enthusiastically during sex.
9. She loves hearing about his physical ailments
8. She is very excited about exploring her bi-sexuality for a threesome
7. She’s completely not self-conscious about her body, and exudes a confidence that makes her even more beautiful (blah blah blah)
6. She loves cooking for her man, and then bringing him a cold beer, because she knows he’ll find this sexy.
5. She finds sluttiness empowering.
4. She never obsesses about why he hasn’t called or texted. (Men have no idea how to capture how truly neurotic we can really be.)
3. She finds his “sweaty musk enchanting” (yeah, take a shower if you think I’m going anywhere near you)
2. She likes being asked “Who’s your daddy?”
And the number one way you can tell that a man is writing as a woman but has never seen a woman outside a magazine:
1. She refers to her clitoris as her Ladycock.