It has come to my attention that not everyone is entirely familiar with the Dramatis Personae of my memoirs, and that perhaps it might even be daunting to some to dive into stories with unfamiliar characters — and I think that’s a damn shame, darlings. So I now direct you to the first story featuring both myself and the eccentric and delightful Countess Penelope of Arcadia (and just where is Arcadia, you ask? And is she a real Countess? Read and find out) It’s called Couche-Tard and the Jumping Asians, and it was designed to blow your fragile little mind, so don’t be surprised if you find your mind a little blown, as if your mind were a dusty Nintendo cartridge or something.
If you work your way forward from there, I can promise you, on my honour as a card carrying dilettante, that there will be laughs aplenty. There’s no strict narrative or anything, and if you skip through, you’re not going to miss any clues as to whodunnit (no spoilers, but Col. Mustard’s been looking mighty nervous), and besides, if I reference something from a post you missed, chances are, I’ve hyperlinked or “Related Articles”-ed that post.
So, grab yourself some chocolate milk and some white chocolate and maca-madamia nut cookies, and..
Why do we need chocolate milk? And, isn’t it just Macadamia Nut?
Ahh, I don’t remember opening the floor to questions, but okay then — anything for my adoring fans (I say with teeth clenched)
Well, since you asked, a) how is chocolate milk going to shoot out your nose if you are not drinking any? and b) no, I’m pretty sure it’s maca-madamia nut, and I don’t care what spell checker says. I am always correct.
Any other questions? No? Good. Now go read about Couche-Tards and Jumping Asians, and Montreal strip clubs, and oh, do say hello to Lucy Liu for me while you’re there.
Or you can go to the little tab marked The Sordid Tale So Far and there you’ll find a list of tales of your favourite dilettante and her ever-present protegee, the Countess Penelope of Arcadia.